Have you ever heard about the power of emotions? There are many experts in human behavior claiming that Emotional Intelligence (EI or EQ) is more important than Intelligence Quotient (IQ) when it comes to life and business success. If you are wondering why, remember some great leaders, and how they moved their audience. Martin Luther King for example gave one of the most memorable speeches of all times, the “I have a dream” speech. It was pretty cool; Don’t you think? Now, I am not aware of King’s IQ ratings, but what I can surely tell you is that, his speech was fueled with feelings. King had high EQ which means that he had the skills, the ability to understand and recognize emotions, and the ability to manage them well.
Improving your EQ will allow you to have tighter relationships, motivating people, communicative skills, making good decisions, and career success, since you will have the complete control of your feelings.
As you probably know, all information acquired during out lives come through our senses. Just like when you were a child and your mother caressed your hair, up to today and for the rest of your life, each time she does or someone else does that in a similar manner, your brain will take you back to your childhood. So, as such, when the information received is stressful or overwhelming when we are not emotionally balanced, then we react “weirdly” or, not at all. If you’ve ever found yourself repeating the same mistakes, when you are stressed, or angry, or sad, and you react “irrationally”, or you don’t react at all, you freeze, then, that means you need to work on your EQ. Working on your EQ will help you in being more efficient and manage crisis in a calm and effective way. Actually, it’s important to note that, we never stop improving our EQ, through our everyday conduct. We build relationships every day, and you know well that you can ruin them in a second (of anger, for example). And you also know that relationships are important in our personal lives as much as it is important to our success in business, not only with clients but also with our colleagues.
I know that handling feelings is not always easy, but, fear not! We’ve put together a list of some steps to follow, which will help you improve your emotions management and evolve your EQ.
Here it goes!
Identification and control of our feelings is a complex task, no question. However, when you are feeling something strongly you should ask yourselves: Why am I upset? Why am I angry/worried/happy?
Once you have identified the feeling and why it came to be, then it will become easier to work on controlling them. A few tips on controlling negative feelings would be deep breaths (from the diaphragm / belly), circular neck and wrist exercises and a bit of low intensity bouncing (without shoes please). These are tension relief exercises which can help you to gather up your mind and control the negative feeling, which, ultimately will lead you to more concentrated and “rational” reactions.
What we don’t know, controls us. What we want, is to know, so that we will be able to control it!
Now, identifying and controlling your feelings is only the start. The second step is to actually minimize them by changing the way you think about some things. For example, if take critic too personally, you are bound to be annoyed and angry many times in your business life. However, critic is not something that can be avoided. Therefore, if you train your brain not too take them to personally, but instead to take the positive aspect of personal growth, then your life becomes automatically easier. Changing the way you think with regards to negative feelings, will automatically bring a change in your behavior. Of course until you get to the point of actually changing your mind set, you could try creating a positive environment in order to facilitate the work.
Positive thinking, does not only improve your life, but also can motivate the people you have around you. When you think in a more positive way, you will stop behaving “inappropriately”, as some may put it. Through this your EQ will evolve further as you will have a clearer mind to understand the feelings of others.
As mentioned in the previous point, understanding others is also part of improving your EQ. That said, in order to improve it in this respect, you have to begin paying attention to the individuals surrounding you. By understanding your own emotions and controlling them, you will be able to further and more efficiently communicate with others, as well as identifying and understanding their feelings. This step will help you build stronger relationships.
Emotional intelligence is a matter of attention. Whether you are paying attention to you or your surroundings, you will grow emotionally. By carefully watching what is happening around us, as well as how people react, we learn how to better confront negative situations, as we have a clear understanding of the occurring needs. Of course, as for everything, improving your emotional intelligence is a matter of wanting to do so and working towards it.
Happy improvement to all!